Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Phoebe Two Weeks Home - Stats

A post specifically for Grandma's and Grandpa's who are missing out on this little treasure.

  • Weight- 12lbs 11oz (packing it on, needs to cut back on the Mayo)
  • Height- 24.125" (more than a half an inch taller)
  • Scabies- Looking better, two more treatments left
  • Favorite Food- Formula
  • Favorite Activity- Staring & Folding hands
  • Tempermant- Mellow unless she needs to burp - then crazy mad

Feel the Love?

Back at this post, we told you all about our new co-missionaries. They just welcomed a new baby girl (a HUGE surprise adoption) - Isabella Sexton is on her way to the mission field too!

The excitement we feel over them getting down here ... Well, it's big. We cannot wait.

But, we have to. Here is an example of the sort of support we can be to each other.

Exactly what is needed when living in this nutty land. :)

Another Blogger

Read this a bit ago, and really liked it.

"We are called to make financial sacrifices and personal sacrifices for the sake of Christ. And when we live beyond our ability it invites God into the equation of our lives. In fact, human sacrifices set the stage for supernatural miracles! At the end of the day: we'll never regret one penny of money; one ounce of energy; or one second of time invested in the kingdom."
-Mark Batterson


To whom much is given, much is expected. And for me ... that means MUCH is expected.

Photo Credit - Scott Tanner
(Have used this photo before, but I really like it.)

photos from a free man

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Kid Quotes & Other Good Things

Isaac and Hope often seem like an old married couple. They bicker and Hope corrects Isaac a lot and is generally the power-side of the partnership.
It is fun to listen in on them when they really get going. Tonight they were sitting by Phoebe and discussing things with each other.
Isaac- I think Phoebe is happy to be in this family with me. With us.
Hope- Of course she is Isaac. (insert Duuuuh voice)
Isaac- (to Phoebe) Guess what Phoebe, guess what? You never got to go to the beach before, you never got to find a starfish, you never ate at the beach, you never went to a big hotel. Guess what? Now you get to."
Hope- Isaac. (long indignant pause) She doesn't know what a starfish is!
Isaac- But she will! I can teach her.
Then they sang to her. A made up song with the tune of "Jesus loves the little children," only this song was "Jesus loves the little Phoebers. All the Phoebers of the world..." It was lovely. Not terribly original, but lovely.
Isaac lost his first tooth today. He is waiting on the tooth fairy. Earlier this evening there was a tap at the gate and Hope said "Is it the tooth fairy?" We've got five Haitian dollars set aside for the tooth, if we can find it. The tooth has been moved forty-seven times today.
We don't have many baby photos of Hope down here (just two) - but I laughed when I looked at this photo on her passport. She was about 12 lbs here -- the same weight as Phoebe right now. Basically, Phoebe is Hope with hair.

Our best news of the day... Today, for the first time, we noticed Phoebe responding to us when we made noise. We cannot explain it, except that a lot of you are were praying for her and she has now been here two weeks ... something clicked today. She smiled at us more, she turned her head for noises, she even startled when she was falling asleep and Troy made a noise. We're so excited! Thank you Lord!
Before I go to bed so I can be chipper at 3am --- I want to address Troy saying that I would want him to spend a little time in jail.
I don't know why he would say that.
Except for this reason --- OF COURSE I want Troy to spend a few hours in jail. How often can a missionary say they went to jail? Come-on. That would be one for the books people. It's not like I want him to stay for days or weeks --- just a few hours. ;-)
The goofy accuser is off his rocker now anyway. He made himself look wacko today when the judge was here. The chip on his shoulder goes way back. Most of it is just being unloaded on Troy, even though Troy's part in it is small.
The entire village and the next village over all know about it. One of the ladies came to chat with Britt today and told her "Your dad is not going to jail --- that guy is crazy!" Then she went on to tell Britt all the details, she even knew what the guy is asking for ... the rumor mill is alive and well here.
One of our employees said "I hear you were summoned to appear in court next Tuesday." Troy was like, "*I was*??? I had not heard that." They seem to know everything, so we're guessing that tomorrow the summons will come for next Tuesday.


All right, a quick update for all you worry-warts out there.

No prison sentence, yet.

The judge showed up and asked his questions and actually, surprisingly, seemed amiable and even impartial. I attempted to correct a few facts that had been twisted in the story he'd heard so far, and cordially answered all his questions. I must admit that I did give 'the look' to my accuser a time or two...but other than that I behaved.

Now the judge has to decide if the case has merit (read: if the accuser is willing to pay enough to continue the process). Then an 'invitation' will apparently come to appear in the tribunal, or courthouse. So now I guess I just wait for the summons.

Through friends and in-country contacts, we found a lawyer who sounds perfect to help in this situation. When I called him, he assumed I was already in jail and asked where he could find me. A man of action, to be sure. He kind of sounded disappointed when I told him nothing had happened yet, and now he's waiting for the call when I receive the summons. Then he'll apparently spring into action and save the day. He said he can probably fix things without needing me to appear in court. I have mixed feelings about that - both relief and disappointment. Here's the best part about the new lawyer friend. His name:


I can't wait to see how much blog material comes out of this one. I'm pretty sure Tara is still hoping I have at least a temporary stay behind bars, just for entertainment and value to you, the reader. I saw a t-shirt advertised online somewhere that I need to buy for Tara. It said:

OH, I am SO going to blog this.

I'll be practicing singing 'Swing Low, Sweet Chariot', doing pullups, and figuring out how to carve a "shiv" while I wait for the next episode.


PS- I know a post with no pictures is kind of boring and abnormal for us...but it is really hard to find a fun, light-hearted photo of prison life. Believe me, I tried to find one.

Nonsensical Start

Ludicrous. Not the rapper. This situation.

A message was delivered early, it went like this, "Troy, if you want to negotiate further, please appear at my home at 8am, otherwise I will see you with a judge at 10am."

Troy's response: See you at 10am.
Remember this post about the airport. See, the puffing out your chest and posturing spills over to all situations. The problem for this particular ex-employee, is that Troy understands that it is all show-business.
It is now 10:45 am. No judge has appeared. No surprises there. In Haitian-time we're still at least 10 minutes to Wapner.
We're tired today. The smallest two children in this house made sure that we were up every few hours all night. I admit to some very poor parenting around 4:30am. Phoebe had just gone back to sleep after being up for 90 minutes. I laid down and fell asleep instantly. At 4:32 Noah started calling "Maaaaaa, I want to get uuuuup."
'OH, hayy--uuhl no you aren't!' - went through my head. I got up, went to his bed and offered him a million dollars to go back to sleep. He doesn't know a good offer when it smacks him up-side the head so he said "Noooo Ma, I want to GET UP!"
That is when I switched into high gear and brought out the fail-safe negotiating tools. "Noah, I will bring you M& M's and lemonade if you go back to sleep for awhile."
The deal was done. We slept from 4:34am until 6:15am. The melted chocolate on his bedding is just collateral damage that can be dealt with in the laundry room later.
oh - 10:57 - Wapner is here. gotta go.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Monday Lowdown

Thank you so much everybody who gave us ideas about what might be going on with little Phoebers. I am totally optimistic after hearing all of your thoughts and experiences. We've reigned in the fearful thinking.
We are hopeful that it is related to her time in a loud orphanage and that she will begin to respond soon. She is not yet three months old so we have some time to get this figured out. For now our plan is to have a team that is here with Dr. Mark Fulton take a look at her on Sunday and go from there.
We do have some good ideas of who we could try in Port next month if we determine it's necessary. If none of that panned out we have other teams coming later in the spring that have offered to try and bring testing equipment down. It's all good ... we're going to take it one thing at a time and expect the best. God seems to deliver the best with great frequency.
This afternoon we went into Tabarre to get Phoebe's adoption blood work drawn. The Doc thought her ears looked fairly normal but said he was not the guy to ask. He did point out the scabies on her wrists and got us some medicine for that ... we had not identified it as scabies, dummies that we are. I feel bad for missing it - and am now itching like a neurotic fool and feeling imaginary bugs under every inch of my skin.

The work-related issue we alluded to last night is getting more interesting; but not necessarily better. Just take your worst employee debacle in the USA, where you can tell the employee is sort of deranged and out to see what sort of money he can scam off the company - then turn up the heat on that and place yourself in a entirely different system as a minority in a culture where you clearly have little chance at a fair trial. The 'corrupt' label this country earned did not occur without some good old-fashioned schemes and scams.
That's the readers-digest version.
As long as Troy does not get taken to a jail on trumped-up (read: made-up) allegations, everything should be cool. We are learning the joys of management and finding out that no matter where you are, some people are just out to get back at "the man". The world is filled with chipped shoulders looking for some revenge. We're not the man, and we're not keeping anybody down, so we figure it'll all be okay -- inconvenient, ridiculous, and annoying, but ultimately okay.
Plus, if Troy went to prison, it would make for great blog material. And, like Zach said today, The Apostle Paul wrote some great stuff from prison and "considered it all joy." So when they come to get Troy I'll toss a pen and paper with the undies and toothbrush in his prison-bag.

By the way, ZACH, you left some diet pop on the shelves at the Tabarre Deli Mart, an oversight I'm sure - you're getting sloppy in your shopping, you better watch your back.

Your loss is our gain - you hoarder of all things diet cola - game on.


Link to Opinion Piece

For those of you that follow Haiti news closely, you know that the UN gained some ground in Cite Soleil last week.

I have no official opinion on the UN occupation. Partly because it is really difficult to know what is true and what is rumor and partly because my personal exposure to them is limited - mainly it has been to try not to bop them in the face at the beach when they stare, take photos of my daughter, and wear their tiny little swim-suits.

I do think it is pretty dumb for them to be here if they are too chicken to take over gang controlled areas. The fact that they actually went in to try and get control of the situation in Cite Soleil is encouraging.

This blog piece offers a little insight into how the gangs and the UN response, along with the day-to-day problems, really do affect the average innocent Haitian citizen.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Family Photo Day

There are a lot of great things about Troy. I know you all get plenty sick of me going on about it. So I won't. I'll just say, that a guy with a good camera and a decent skill level - beats the heck out of dragging the family to the portrait studio any day. And, when in a country that uses cameras from 1934 and offers nothing in the way of a portrait studio, it is a bonus to have a good working relationship with a guy like Troy. And I do.

We used to almost kill each other on family picture day. Today, we threw our planned clothing on and headed to the prayer rock. (Some of us made our hair too big.) Isaac unbuttoned an extra button - going for the male-gigolo look - and voila, eight minutes later we were done. Nobody swore, freaked out, melted down or acted foolish. Yay for Troy, his skillzz and his fancy-pants camera.
We are excited to have a family photo with our Phoebers in it.
Our weekend was unusually quiet and relaxing. There was one odd moment when we pulled into the driveway and a guy none of us know was standing in the drive. We learned that we also freak out when we see a white guy. Troy said "HEY, who is that white guy??" and the rest of us chimed in in disbelief and surprise. I guess we cannot be annoyed when we are identified that way ... we're guilty of it ourselves.

The three Scooby junkies pictured below spent some (read: too much) of the weekend watching DVD's. Let me just take this opportunity to say, Shaggy is a knob and Velma is kind of a know-it-all belly-acher. And, if Scooby was my dog, he'd be long gone ... let out of the gate to fend for himself among the Dingos of Haiti.

As a child of the 80's, I am surprised I don't remember how totally annoying the show is. I guess I blocked it out. ZOIKS!!!! Anyway, Thanks a lot Lisa and Dec -- for bringing the Scooby disc down. It's been a lot of fun watching our kids' brains rot out. You'll be pleased to know they can sing the theme song almost word-perfect.
Like my dear old granny Porter used to say (or still says?) "Oh ... I sure wish you could remember BIBLE VERSES as well as you remember those awful songs!"

Scooby Dooby Doo,Where are youWe got some work to doScooby Dooby Doo,Where are youWe need some help from you nowCome on,Scooby Doo,I see youpretending you got a sliverBut you're not foolin' me,cause I can seethe way you shake and shiverYou know we got a mystery to solve and Scooby Doo,be ready for your actDon't hold back!And Scooby Doo if you come through you're gonna have yourself aScooby Snack!Scooby Dooby Doo,where are youYou're ready and you're willingIf we can count on you Scooby DooI know you'll catch that villian

There are two troubling situations that I have sat deciding whether or not to address here.

Talking about Scooby-Doo is sort of avoidance of the issues at hand.I won't go into both of them here, I'll simply ask for prayers for one work-related challenge and one family-related concern.

Our family related concern is about Phoebe. We are praying we are wrong, over-reacting, or misdiagnosing. We have a concern about Phoebe's hearing. She does not respond to voices or noises. We've been testing her all weekend and are trying to stay calm and positive ... but we are worried. The only two tiny responses we got out of her were for VERY LOUD noises. She gives no reaction whatsoever to snaps, claps, or voices.

Monday we hope to figure out what our options are here for having her tested. They may be nil but we are going to try anyway.

I was sitting sad and worried about it all and Isaac said, "Ma, what is wrong?" I said "I am just worried that Phoebe cannot hear." Ike said- "Hum. (Long thoughtful pause) Well, maybe she has a rock in her ear or maybe she has a ear confection." "Don't worry Ma."

I checked, there are no rocks in her ears. Please pray that if there is someone on this island that could help us figure out if a problem exists, that we would find them easily tomorrow.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Boring Friday Night

No date-night happened. We dealt with employee issues, baby-sat a baby (Lovely) from the village and made grilled cheese and cheesecake. That's Friday night in LaDigue. Wishing you were here?


I have to admit, blogging and doing some team stuff and going to the airport is a difficult task.

I was so busy with Phoebe and kids today and then getting dinner ready before heading into Port that I took ZERO photos of your Michigan team. :( Sorry.

I can tell you they worked hard and went to visit an orphanage about 25 minutes from here. They all seemed happy with day one and are ready to go again tomorrow morning.

Because in addition to the team, I now have a very close friend here, it may be harder to motivate myself to write. I can talk to a REAL LIVE HUMAN BEING, rather than cyber-space!!! I like talking to ya'll, (that is for you Tim and Amie) but I've got a warm body here with two good ears. Forgive us if the posting is light for a few days.

Friday we have a full day of planned. The group will divide and head two different directions. I PROMISE I will get some photos.


Writer's Block & L.R. is Back!?!?!

If it seems like we have nothing important to say; it *is* actually because we have nothing to say.

It may be just a normal writer's-block situation ... or it may be serious. It's too soon to tell. Either way; I've got zilch for you today.

Except this brief mocking of my dear sweet husband.

Troy has retreated to a quiet place to deal with the news that Lionel Ritchie is indeed famous in the USA. Paige's dad emailed from MN to confirm it as well. That made four different states reporting that Lionel Ritchie is popular *right now.* Ouch. Poor Troy, he's out of touch with American culture. Keep him in your prayers. ;-) He's impervious to reason and wants to deny what many of you have shared. It's never a good day when Eddy knows something that you don't know... About your own culture. It cuts - Deep.

Suffice it to say, there will be no dancing on the ceiling here today.

We're working, we're having a normal school and business day. It is all sort of boring I guess. Nothin more to say about it. But, if Troy can pull himself back together we hope that later this afternoon we can go on a quick date. Woot.

We hope it is a UN free date, that we won't need to see any creepy Brazilian guys in their tiny little Speedos.

If you don't hear from us this weekend, just know we're recovering from writer's block, and the shocking Lionel Ritchie news. We're safe, we're fine, even better than fine - enjoying Phoebe, and maybe taking a blogging break.

Love to all! Have a great weekend.


Thursday, January 25, 2007

Say You, Say Eddy

The following conversation took place in Port-Au-Prince, Haiti at approximately 9:30 am on Wednesday, January 24th, the parking lot of One Stop Market.

Troy: Hi Eddy, how are you?
Eddy: I'm good man. Hey, what truck are you driving here?
Troy: The pickup, the L200.
Eddy: Oh, ok, look man you really need to make a service on that truck.
Troy: Make a service? What do you mean?
Eddy: Take it to a mechan-ician.
Troy: Oh, I see. Well, I just changed the oil and filters last week, everything else is fine with it.
Eddy: You what? Oh, come on man, you can't be messing around like that.
Troy: Why not?
Eddy: Come on man, you'll blow up your engine, you don't know how to be a mechan-ician.
Troy: The only thing I need now is an alignment.
Eddy: Oh, I know a guy who can do it for you. Boss Lionel.
Troy: (not understanding correctly) Boss Renel?
Eddy: No, come on man, listen. Boss Lionel.
Troy: Ok.
Eddy: You know, like Lionel Ritchie. You ever heard of him? He's like a really big man in States.
Troy: Really? Yes, I know who Lionel Ritchie is.
Eddy: Yeah, he's really good. He's a black man. He's a big deal in your cone-tree.
Troy: Ok, sure Eddy. Thanks.
Eddy: Remember man, the good mechan-ician to call is Boss Lionel, like Lionel Ritchie... but he doesn't sing or anything man, he just make a good service for your ve-hik-ell.
Troy: All right. Do you know - Are there people in the park? Playing games in the dark?
Eddy: What man?
Troy: Nevermind.

I wanted to keep the game going of speaking in Lionel Ritchie lyrics for a while, just for my own amusement, but I was pretty sure he wasn't going to get it. Ever.

I realize that I have been out of the "cone-tree" for a while now, but I don't think I've missed anything as amazing as a huge Lionel Ritchie comeback. Either Eddy is totally out of touch with who is "really big" in the US, or I am. It could easily be me, but I don't think so this time.


When I don't have anything to say, I put up photos and quotes.
Have a good Thursday.

The best way out is always through.
-Robert Frost

That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's a dangerous business going out your front door.
-J. R. R. Tolkien

"Your greatest regret at the end of your life will be the lions you didn't chase. You will regret the risks not taken, the opportunities not seized, and the dreams not pursued. Stopping running away from what scares you most and start chasing the God-ordained opportunities that cross your path."
-Mark Batterson

People might not get all they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get.
-Fredrick Douglass
PS- To our New Joy Church Family,
We are praying for your outreach event on Sunday! We hope it is wonderful and the turnout is huge.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Check Out (Home Page)

"Corporate sponsorship a boon to church budgets" (photo)
OR, another favorite- "Churches adopt Mascots"

If you don't appreciate satire and sarcasm, you will hate this site.

*We* have been giggling at these stories all night and are highly entertained. We're thinking of becoming the 'Pillsbury Livesay Family' and 'Kodak Children's Int'l Lifeline' and seeing if we can't up our budget a bit.


The High Points
  • Phoebe is the most fun sweet baby ever - she smiles at us now
  • Troy went to Port and got to grab lunch with Zach
  • Troy went to Port and managed to arrive back home by 4pm
  • Troy ran into John A. at the grocery store
  • Lori and Zach say Seramise (burned lady) is holding her own
  • The grocery store had Doritos
  • Britt and I got to go for a longer than normal run
  • Everyone was nice to us on the run- totally harassment free
  • Everyone napped simultaneously for 17 minutes
  • The realization that a good friend is visiting in just two weeks
  • The realization that Dad is coming in just one month

The Low Points

  • Isaac pushed a kid and called him a name, then lied and said Noah did it
  • After getting in trouble Noah said "I want a diff-ent mom"
  • The boys seemed to be in time-out 1/3 of the day
  • During the long run an emergency banana field stop was required
  • Banana fields do not come equipped with toilet paper
  • The grocery store did not have diet-pop
  • Troy and John A. scoured the grocery store only to determine that there was no corn-starch to be had for Britt's Chemistry lab

Six Gifts

Psalm 127:3
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Pitit se kado Bondye bay, se yon rekonpans pou manman ak papa.

Psalm 139:12-14
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
-Mark Twain"Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul.
And sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all."
-Emily Dickinson
"If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm."
-Bruce Barton

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
-Carl W. Buechner

Facing a mirror you see merely your own countenance; facing your child you finally understand how everyone else has seen you.
-Daniel Raeburn

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Risk Taking and Other Incoherent Ramblings

There is a struggle happening in my mind. It began about two weeks ago when we located Phoebe. During the 9 weeks of waiting to find her and Beanne, (birthmom) I began to let go of the idea of her becoming our daughter. It was mainly a self-protective measure. I still *wanted* her to join our family, but I needed to deal with it by starting to let go of it. If that makes any sense at all.

The time that passed between her birth in early November and last week, when she came home to us, allowed for my thoughts to run wild and my fears to build. I should say, *I* allowed for that to happen, I never reigned in my thoughts. I am trying to put a stop to them now, with mild and patchy success.

RISK- is defined this way-
1. The possibility of suffering harm or loss; danger.
2. A factor, thing, element, or course involving uncertain danger; a hazard.

SAFE- is defined this way-
1. Secure from danger, harm, or evil.
2. Free from danger or injury; unhurt: safe and sound.
3. Free from risk; sure: a safe bet.
4. Affording protection: a safe place.

My fears that I am fighting off and daily dealing with, and now publicly confessing, have to do with emotional risk ... emotional safety.

Somewhere during the wait for Phoebe I decided that it was a risk to take her and maybe God was not delivering her due to the risk it involved and He was just sparing us from the pain of it all. Yes, I recognize that I totally made that up and it is based on nothing but my subjective, self-centered and irrational thought process.

For anyone in the middle of an adoption, the emotional risks are huge. Taking placement makes it seem to be an even greater emotional risk. Whether that is reality or just perception, I'm unsure. Your heart is in it either way.
There is a great fear of connecting to, bonding with, and coming to love a child that may not ever become yours. There is a true sense that when dealing with a foreign government the whole adoption can be stopped on a dime for whatever reason, fair or not.

My general fears have nothing to do with money. Losing money hurts, but not emotionally. My fears are of losing Phoebe. I've played the "what-if" game about her and her adoption and the timing of it all for a week now and I need to stop before I drive myself crazy. I have no control over the timing, the logistics, the details, or the end result.

I do have control over, loving her today, caring for her today, listening to God and taking a risk with her today, no matter how scary that feels. I do have control over my thought-life-and I can choose to take control of that too.

When we had Sophia with us in May and June, an interesting thing happened.

Once we learned that she would not ever be available for adoption it became harder to take care of her. Shallow? Unloving? Immature? Maybe, probably, yes - to all three. For me personally I felt myself holding back from her. Like, if you're not going to be "my" kid and you're just here for a short time, I don't know how to give myself wholly to you. I did not want to love somebody that was going to leave. I did not want to risk feeling hurt. I was disturbed with what I learned about myself. I remember the night she had the flu and puked on me again and again, I kept thinking "this is not my kid" and finding myself both bitter and frustrated with her. Yeah, you heard me, I was frustrated with a malnourished 12 lb baby that had no mother. Somehow, taking care of her, became about me. Not her. There is no way to adequately express how icky I feel about that. But it was true of me.

Now, I find myself saying "Will Phoebe really be ours? Will this adoption be completed?" Then the whole risk taking game begins. Is it risky to love her wholeheartedly, with abandon, without reserve? Is it going to hurt more if she never becomes my legal daughter if I've loved her that way?

The fact is, I do love her. It already hurts - I love her. Period. Anything I do to try and keep from connecting in a mother-daughter deep way will only hurt us. Both of us, Phoebe and me.

I need to come to a place of trusting that God is either going to make her ours legally OR He isn't - and in that case, He'll help me with the loss. Either way my obligation is to love her without condition --- just the way Christ loves me. Without Conditions. No guarantee of return on investment, no guarantee of how long it will last.

I believe God asks us to take risks for Him. I am seeing that in the case where there is less emotional risk I am all for it ----I am willing to risk and sacrifice losing money, my reputation, or my possessions. I am into thrill seeking. But when the stakes are raised, and I am risking my own emotional pain, I suddenly don't feel like such a risk-taker after all.

The questions and uncertainties surrounding Phoebe's adoption and the timing for our family are many. But the answers from the Lord stay the same.

Trust Him. Be Still and know that He is Sovereign God. Be Brave. Be Bold. Take Risks.

How can I read and hear Troy's story from last Wednesday and doubt that God is involved and has a plan.
The post Troy put up about faith, was born of this discussion of my fears and trepidation. The fact is, the only thing any of us can do is listen for God's direction, follow what you believe He has asked you to do, and trust Him for His answers --- WHENEVER they come, and WHATEVER they are.

Learning to risk it,


I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. -Mother Teresa 1910-1997