Sunday, February 10, 2008

Bloom in a Pressure Cooker

The Satellite is unable to talk to our dish many hours of the day. The positioning is messed up enough that at certain times, the two just cannot speak. My understanding of the whole thing is rudimentary at best. Basically, we (along with the birdog) have fixed anything that can be fixed and we're left with patchy Internet for now. At night it is almost unusable, which really messes with our ability to prioritize poorly, misuse our time, and stay up until 1am farting around on-line.

How can we perfect our addicitve behaviors without Internet? The photo to the right was Troy's reaction to the findings. He was not pleased that I caught it on film. He'll be less pleased that I posted it.
My family knows me well enough to read between the lines and sense an increased stress level of late. They are indeed onto me. I am stressed.

That cheesy refrigerator magnet that reads, "Too blessed to be stressed" - we don't have that magnet.

Our cheesy refrigerator magnets say, "Whatever God asks you to lift, He gives you the grace to carry" and "Bloom where God plants you!"

So, we "lift" and bloom! as best we can - reminding ourselves, with patchy success, that God offers grace for all of our stress and shortcomings.
But, it feels as if we have never had a chance to settle back in and find our groove; and that is getting to me. Week one in Haiti was the expected and understandable chaos of unpacking, reconnecting with kids I had not seen in a week and enjoying having my sister here. Week two was spent in a PAP hospital. Week three brought the team from MI. There was never a stretch where we said, "this is our new normal." There has not been time to lay down roots let alone bloom!

And now, on Tuesday, we begin the marathon of marathons.

Our USA boss will be here along with 40 guests over the next three weeks. The 40 are not here all at once, the group size varies week to week between 9 and 22 people. Because our first month back here was less than what I had hoped, and we never found a groove; I feel unprepared to put on the hostess face right now. My hostess face cannot even be located! I did manage to make up most of the beds yesterday, but nothing more than that. I have just one more full day to convince myself to rally, put on a smile, act "hostessish" - to bloom -- and then it is show-time.

The truth is, sometimes the daily things required are more than we can do well ... okay, not sometimes -- most times. So to add to the regular daily duties feels just short of impossible.

As has been the case since the day we arrived in this crazy-land, the most formidable challenge, day to day, is having any semblance of healthy boundaries. It only gets more difficult when under the pressures of visitors. We tend to struggle to get along when groups are here. (This being the reason I warned Tess and Jen about a possible fight.) It makes sense of course, the added responsibility means even less time to take care of each other and we end up sleep deprived, ticked off and emotionally drained. Having company does not allow for a crabby day, a bad day, or a lazy day ... And you know, that is okay for seven days - but 22 days is a long time to be friendly around the clock. I don't believe I can be June Cleaver that many days in a row. These lucky 40 folks will find out I guess.
All of this is simply to say, that the next three weeks could use some prayer coverage... Or, A LOT of prayer coverage. Thank you.

We continue to be uber thankful for our own Nanny McFee; the fabulous Tess. I have been so happy with the way she jumps in and tells the kids what to do without worrying about me or Troy. Noah thinks he might marry her someday. I think it is a fine choice. Demi and Ashton did it.

We will miss Tess terribly for the next ten days as she takes off to go meet her family for a long-planned vacation in Mexico. I am preparing myself to say goodbye without weeping and gnashing of teeth along with grabbing at her ankles - in a desperate attempt to hold her here. We'll see how that goes. :(
For the most part blogging is an outlet, I enjoy writing. I just don't know that I will have much time in the coming weeks ... I apologize in advance if you end up staring at the same post day after day.
Until we "speak" again .. Be well .. and bloom! ;)