That result led me to ask how many parents there are in the world, because naturally I wondered if maybe there is perhaps an unadvertised goal of one website per X number of parents. After that, I wondered where everyone got their advice in 1814 and 1914 before 21,300,000 options were at our fingertips.
Raising kids is hard.
The only place we find ourselves the oddballs in child rearing, is this place of having adult children with significant others - and now even children of their own.
- It is scary, the mistakes feel more costly and long reaching
- Older kids doesn't equal an easier parenting gig - the job doesn't stop feeling big or even daunting because they grown up
- "I'm sorry" is an important two-word phrase to memorize
- There is still time, even though it doesn't feel like it
- We change -They change (or at least if we do, we can hope they will)
How are a mother or father to act/respond when they disagree with decisions their newly adult children make?
I want to suggest that love and pursuing relationship doesn't really mean approving of everything someone chooses. I can dislike a choice they made but still pursue them wholeheartedly. Withdrawing relationship (or love) because I don't approve is not my answer. I also want to suggest that at some point it is not up to me to allow or disallow anything anymore.
If we are raising kids to eventually be autonomous, (that is the point, yes?) the natural progression of things will mean they start making choices that don't seek or require our approval.
In those times I find it is important for me to remember that winning an argument should not really be my ultimate goal. When Jesus came up against difficult things, he couldn't have cared less about winning the argument. He preferred to make space for grace. When we make space for grace with our kids they will make space for grace for us too.
I don't know much, but I know there is nothing I need more than grace.