Tuesday, November 26, 2019


Today Noah and Isaac went over to the Navarro household for a movie.  These are our "neighbors" in the 25 minute away sense - and also new friends. Melissa was the realtor that found our house and showed it to us and put an offer in for us without us ever setting foot in the house. 

The boys have convinced the Navarro clan that the entire Marvel movie series must be watched in order. Today they started with Iron Man, circa 2008.

I left the guys there and went to run errands and adult like the quickly developing adult that I am.  

Later, I saw a photo of them with high-end snacks in hand and wondered why I ever let them leave the house. 

Now they know about movies with a variety of snacks. 

Gone are the days of Corn Flakes or Pasta with bugs with movie tonight. 
(I'm exaggerating. The pasta only had bugs sometimes.)

Anyway, that's not the story. 

The story is that when I picked them up from MarvelFest2019 they got in the truck and Isaac said, "Holy cow, the Navarros use A LOT OF ICE with their drinks."  

I snort laughed.  (JUDGERRRR!)

Noah said, "Oh my gosh, I thought that same thing!"

Troy and I have raised children to believe that there is a scarcity situation when it comes to frozen water products.  Isaac and Noah could hardly believe Melissa Navarro and her 3/4 full glasses of ice. Scandalous.

America, man.  It's crazy. Excess. Excess. Excess.

On the ride home I was explaining to the guys that Troy has mentioned I am spending too much on the house and getting set up. I shared this to discourage their dreams and crush their childhood hopes. 

I went on to tell them that if we leave a balance on the credit card we then pay something like 19% interest on that. 

Isaac said, "Oh so is 19% a really fast interest rate?" 

I hope you can now see clearly how awesome our parenting and preparation for adulthood has been the past decade. If you want us to work with your kids, please make contact. Our rates are competitive.

Hope is busy being seasonally employed at Target. She is the only employed person if we want to be technical about it.  She is equal parts proud that her first job is an awesome one that pays a really great hourly wage and SAD at how it cuts into the reading and larding and reading and larding time.  

The other day she forbid me to check out at her aisle if I came in the store. I have no idea why she thought that was the thing to say to me. 

REAL curious, that kid. It's like she never lived a day with me.

Before I went to her check out line I attempted to send Troy a message written in Christmas stockings.  

I want you to know that Target DOES NOT OFFER A STOCKING WITH A "Y" on it.  I thought this was America, but no. There are 25 letters to chose from and I only really wanted the Y to finish my message.

I'm learning a lot about me too, here in 'Murica.  

The more laid back Tara that emerged in that decade plus in Haiti seems to have left the vicinity.  

For example, in Haiti I don't care about a pile of dirty dishes for a time or stacks of random kid crap left by the front door area.  In America I need the measuring cups stacked up with the handles facing left inside the drawer at a 45 degree angle adjacent to the silverware tray.  I need every dish loaded at bedtime.  

I would consider spending a little time feeling like a dick about this, but I happen to know from years of counseling that when I get like this it means things feel out of control. It is my attempt to be in control.  

The measuring cups are all I have, okay?

Troy is doing the same thing. He currently controls the thermostat from Haiti. That's right. I said that. He did that.

If we are cold and turn it up past 68F, he's going to know about it.  

On the warmer days when the kids have feeling in their fingers they are actively writing a parody song based off of this Bette Midler song from the olden days ...




(Sidenote: DO NOT see how many words are misspelled in this video. It will give you a deadly and painful DESEASE.) (start at 1:34 if you must)

From a distance, Troy is watching us.  

He sees it all. 

Between 'Find my Friends', the doorbell camera, and notifications when I charge something on the credit card with the fast interest rates, we basically live in communist China. 

I cannot remember anything in this season of transition. I cannot remember anything in seasons of calm either, but I'm pleased to have a reason for this memory failure.  

Anyway, I set alarms for everything from eating to restroom breaks to laundry switching. I only ever mess up on taking pizza out of the oven.  Home is where the burnt pizza is. 

So, the other night I told my phone "Set an alarm to go get Hope at 9:15." 

 Off to find help now.  

In my next installment we will discuss driving at high speeds with teens that don't know anything about America and embarrassing teens by wearing a side pony in public. 

Also, side note ... I went to London and Haiti since I last posted here and my brain is more scrambled than Boggle dice.  

(Troy knows when we play Boggle too!!)