If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk.
Short explanation of plot of this story for those of you that have been dead since 1988 -
A boy gives a cookie to a mouse. The mouse asks for a glass of milk. He then requests a straw (to drink the milk), a mirror (to avoid a milk mustache), nail scissors (to trim his hair in the mirror), and a broom (to sweep up his hair trimmings). Next he wants to take a nap, have a story read to him, draw a picture, and hang the drawing on the refrigerator. Looking at the refrigerator makes him thirsty, so the mouse asks for a glass of milk. The circle is complete when he wants a cookie to go with it.
Saturday, May 6,
If You Give Your Son a Haircut ....
If you give your son a haircut, you're going to have to get the clippers all oiled and taken apart and put back together and working well. If the clippers are all oiled and working well, you're going to decide it is a good day to give the dog a haircut too. If you give the dog a haircut, you're going to find a worm in his butt. If you find a worm in his butt you're going to get itchy and feel like gagging. While you're itchy and feel like gagging, your kids are going to be more motivated and keep helping you give the dog a haircut. If your kids keep helping you give the dog a haircut the dog might get a tiny bit of his ear clipped with a scissor on accident. If the dog gets clipped on accident the kids are going to cry and the dog is going to bleed. If the dog is bleeding a little bit you're going to have to calm your kids and tell your Veterinarian. When you tell your Vet she is going to say, "I'll come take a look at it." When she comes to take a look at it she is going to say, "Let's put a stitch in that." If she says, "Let's put a stitch in that" she is going to decide the dog needs to be sedated. Once she sedates the dog she is going to ask if she can just take off his nuts since he's already asleep anyway. If she asks if she can just take off his nuts you're going to say, "Sure, why not." If she takes his nuts off and fixes up his ear you're going to need to be right there watching and learning. While you're watching and learning she says, "You are going to need to burn your trash tonight. These nuts will stink tomorrow."
Keep this in mind next time you decide to give your son a haircut.