Wednesday, May 24, 2017

PreCheck & Rollout of Special Snowflake Program

I would guess this phenomenon is true, no matter where you live or who you you are. That to say, don't hear me accusing others without also accusing myself.

Wherever you live, whatever your environment and culture, we all become accustomed to our norm and therefore become inured to the aspects of our lives that are not so palatable. 

For example, when someone that has never been to Port au Prince visits us, they point things out that I really do not see any longer.  I have been sitting in this traffic and driving these roads for so long, some of what goes on around me is simply white noise. It takes fresh eyes to be reminded of what I used to notice. 

Oh, a live giant pig strapped willy-nilly across the back of a moto is odd?  Okay, if you say so.

On the flip side, this happens to me every time we go to the USA.  I see things that I think are ridiculous and I find myself wanting to note it and ask around - "Hey, friends, is this totally ridiculous or am *I* the weird one?"  

I'm not talking about the "Is it normal now to pay $14 for a plate of air at a restaurant" variety of question. Feel free as birds (you're eating like them anyway) to go to those important restaurants without food if that's your jam. I have come to understand that being hungry and paying a lot for it is cool in your land. In Haiti, it's not cool to be hungry and folks can be hungry without spending the fourteen bucks. I promise, I am not talking about that again. Today I am on to other things.  

Right now the thing that seems super odd to me about America is the desperate need, scratch that, the consistent demand to never have to wait for anything.  Waiting is not okay for a lot of people. I observed it with my own two eyes. 

Because honesty matters, as a disclaimer it must be noted we are basically white-lab-rats being used in a world-wide study to prove that patience can be learned.  

If you subject a rat named Tara to enough waiting and sitting and waiting and delays and lines and "not this week" and "maybe next month" responses, the rat eventually accepts that everything is always going to be BS and nothing will ever get done quickly. 

It is to the point in the lab experiment that I am participating in that if on some amazing day I wait less than 90 minutes in a line or business office, I think I just kicked all the ass and dominated at existing. 

Perhaps, I am too conditioned to wait patiently to be the one speaking to America about America and the apparent refusal to ever have to wait for anything. However, that won't stop me from forcing you to endure my obloquy today.

While at the Baltimore airport we learned that there are many ways to get to your gate. 

Not only can you stand in regular TSA line, as a regular line person, you can also be luckier than those fools and be a person with TSA Pre-Check status for a shorter, faster line. That's good I suppose, for the frequent-travelers that spend their lives in those lines. Maybe we can even agree it is nice that they have an option to be pre-screened and deemed safe. Over time that TSA PreCheck line has grown longer of course, as people seek to be approved to skip the regular TSA line.

Far be it from me to understand what an acceptable wait time is, I claim ignorance! 

Now, if the TSA PreCheck line is too slow you can also pay a $179 per year to go into a line that is faster than TSA Pre-Check. It is true. The lady at the BWI airport attempted to lure us into a 30 day trial. Troy and I stood there frozen for a moment. It was like a little red devil-guy was standing on our shoulder whispering, "You can be better, you can have the knowledge now if you just skip this line." 

The new line is called "Clear". Get it? You are clear of being a person that will wait. Basically, if you have money to toss around, you never ever have to wait because you are too dang important to wait. 

You are a special, special being. Because of your specialness, and your wallet, you will not stand still in a line.   

My question is, WHERE DOES THIS END?

I guess once everyone pays the fee and has Clear status, there will be a new program called SUPER DUPER CLEAR for $329 a year for those that don't have time to deal with the growing popularity of Clear.  

Once SUPER DUPER CLEAR is popular, there will be an option called Special Snowflake. In the SS program you will be able to enter the back side of the airport and come into the gate area for $729 per  year. Once that fails, I have no idea how we will all feel important and not have to wait. We know the goal is to forever and ever and ever keep from waiting in a line like a mere commoner.  

- OR - maybe at that point the normal TSA line will be super short again and we can all head back to that line. 

Don't get me wrong.  I am being a jerk. Of course I prefer not to wait. I rather love walking up to a counter with no waiting line. I'm just generally curious if other people see this change happening in America.  

It was not like this 10 Or even 5 years ago, it is a new demand.

I wrote this post while waiting on a baby with expectant Momma, MarieElda.  

I guarantee you the baby is not coming anytime soon.  

I'll wait.