The current climate in my soul is that of dead winter.
I am walking around frustrated and discouraged with things far beyond my direct control. I am tired of my role as a bystander. Systems of abuse and people that refuse to see and do anything about them are crushing my hope of late. Deep and systematic social, cultural problems seem to be calling from multiple directions. I'm doing a cruddy job of giving them to God in prayer.
(Yes, I know this is all ambigious and that being vauge like this is annoying.)
So many things are troubling me right now. In the "barf format" I give you these snippets of some of my frustration of late ...
Christian is a label people use to cover them from questions. It frequently means nothing. I don't acutally want to be called that anymore, myself. Untold numbers of people raise funds and have 'programs' they are running that are bs and at times even abusive but if you call it that you are seen as a cynical jerk. So, instead we all sit politely with our hands in our lap biting the inside of our cheeks to keep from gossiping or calling it what it is in order to handle it lovingly - you know, like Jesus. I openly admit that right now I am pretty tired of being loving to expats that come oppress Haiti. I'm not entirely sure that some of my past choices to remain quiet will be very pleasing to my Maker. I may have to explain my politeness someday.
Martin Luther King said, "In the end what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends" ... That quote is screaming truth to me lately. This
Dear God, please bring Spring.