Thursday, April 12, 2012

live out the situation

Posting songs and pasting in quotes and other people's words is the 'mysterious' way to say what we're feeling ... Without actually saying it.

Let it be known, the recent lack of new posts with original words and unique content written by the people of our tribe doesn't mean there is nothing to say.

No, no, quite the contrary.
There's stuff to say but so much of what is going on of late is still sort of unanswered and unclear.

It is easier to post song lyrics than it is to try to write sensible words out of so much confusion.

The larger problem with walking through times of challenge and confusion is that we're faced with a choice ...

Be confused and challenged- graciously, exhibiting faithful patience...
Be confused and challenged- ticked-off, self-sufficient and totally impatiently. 

I excel at the latter.

This quote was shared by my nugget-sharing friend Sarah-

"The word 'patience' means willingness to stay where we are and live out the situation to the full, in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us." -Henri Nouwen

I've been waiting for some stuff to sort itself out and I've been fighting against Henri's advice to "live out the situation to the full".  I don't want to 'live it out' so much as I want to be done already.

I don't need to over-share on this one. I really don't.  Apparently there is a thing called 'restraint'. Sometimes it's called for; or that's what people tell me. Because I was born an over-sharer that cannot keep a secret to save my life, deciding to keep something private is a lot like deciding to stop breathing air.

The problem with half-sharing (as opposed to over-sharing) is that it seems like it is a ploy for attention, even when it not.

"Hi! See me over here dropping only morsels of information in an effort to make you curious."  "Look look! I'm melancholy. But I cannot tell you why. You'll have to wonder forever and ever." 


There is one guy in Haiti that excels at only posting mysterious stati (status plural?) on facebook - we call him "ambiguous stati guy".  He'll go down in the annals of history along with "greatest disparity in couple size" and  "rice-cake girl" and other people we've met and named by their unique quirks.

Well, now you see I'm no better than ambiguous stati guy. I'm just telling you how helplessly  impatient (and frustrated) we feel in our current situation and I'm pretty much leaving it at that.

There is one thing though ...
I don't think crappy and hard things happen because "God wants to teach us patience."  People say that to me and I just stare at their lips and think, "Yeah. No." And then I wonder why people always go around telling each other what God is doing and teaching and I wonder why I never know what God is doing but so many people around me do. And then sometimes I want to punch things.

I think crappy and hard things happen to us all because the world is a ginormous jacked up mess full of trouble, sin, injustice, and every evil thing. I think there is hope anyway.

I think there is war going on around us all the time, it may feel intangible  - or invisible - but it never stops. Never. I think there is hope anyway.

I think the war we cannot see is more real than the things we touch, taste, see and smell. I think there is hope anyway.

I think shit $%&# happens that is painful and hard and sometimes even horrible because of that war. I think there is hope anyway.

I think we learn from it by default and sometimes we end up getting a little more refined and a little more patient, and other times we don't.

I think either way, there is no choice but to live out the situation.