I have been back on a regular running schedule since late May. It is amazing how much better I cope with stress when I spend an hour or two sweating and praying. (Thank you God for nap-time!) Running is my think time.
Yesterday I found myself unable to get adoption off my mind. I don't talk about it much here, and I won't in the future ... In my experience it is so deeply personal and so emotionally charged that it is easier for me to just compartmentalize and set aside the entire topic.
Some people wait well, sometimes they struggle greatly ... most of us flip-flop between the two constantly ... I understand all responses. I cannot think of a tougher thing than watching a child you love languish in an orphanage for multiple months, even years, and all because of red-tape and corruption.
I believe God can deliver these children. I believe He sees and cares. I also believe that man and evil get in the way of it being easy. I have zero faith in the process. Actually, after looking at the process it shocks me that it ever works. I am too much of a realist to expect the process or the people to change. There is only one reason any adoption is ever completed. It has nothing to do with any gov't office of any country. It has nothing to do with which lawyer or program you use; it is truly God's providence alone that delivers these children.
Yesterday as I ran I prayed for all of you waiting and for the entire process. I mostly prayed for peace and endurance in your hearts - and for longer stretches of deep calm - because I know it hurts and I know there is incredible struggle for most who wait.
Dear Lord -
Deliver them. Protect them. Fill places of grief with unexplainable peace and even joy. Help us all wait well. Heal the hurts. Help us accept the things we cannot change, give us courage give us strength.
Yesterday the team had a great day in LaDigue and Barbancourt. They worked hard and went to bed exhausted. They are a great group ready and willing to take it as it comes. Today they split into two groups. One group left at 6am to walk to PetitBwa and the other is riding up with Troy. If I had less than a half dozen kids I would be with them ... Sigh. I love the feeling of arriving in PetitBwa. I know they will too. The photos below were all taken there on past trips. It is a beautiful spot in a beautiful country.
Adam and Amber (new missionaries) are doing a great job with the team and have jumped right into their new role. It has pointed out to us how much better a couple without a boat-load of kids can host teams. It is so much less complicated, they're going to be great at it!
We saw another house yesterday. We really liked it and pray it will work out. As of this moment the owner would not budge on his price, we are hoping he might come down about $150 per month. It was by far my favorite house, and near friends that would help us feel more supported.
We're not quick to make decisions ... we never decide under pressure. That is okay, but sometimes it means that the decision is made for us when the thing we wanted - is purchased by the next guy in line.
Ever since 1999 when Troy bought an old, high miles Toyota Previa MiniVan (on my 27th birthday no less) and I cried and cried at his decision and the news of the purchase of said hideous vehicle ... we think things through slllloooowwly together.
If you're driving a '95 space-machine Previa - I am sooo sorry. You cannot see the driver of this Previa, but I assure you ... she is crying her eyes out. She has taken her hands off the wheel and is about to take that van to the bottom of the lake.
Our Previa took the four of us to the Black Hills and Mount Rushmore in Sept of '99. Then after the 30th stall along the mountain road, we sold it to a rug dealer who probably also cried after the deal was complete.
Peter went with us to look at the house. Sometimes when you're dealing with money, you just want to hear that your Creole has not failed you and that you have not promised ten thousand Dollars instead of ten thousand Gourdes or USD instead of Haitian Dollars ... or anything along those lines.
As usual he was full of strong opinions and had a lot to say. He talked, we listened, it was wonderful.
Many kids are awake and hungry. I better go.