I found this highly entertaining and accurate - but mostly just enjoyed finding another sarcastic Christian writer...
I'm Sure I Read that Somewhere
by Shawn McEvoy, Crosswalk.com Faith Editor
There are six things which the Lord hates... Proverbs 6:16
Let's see what's on tap for me to do today...
Hmmm, probably not much need to pray; things are pretty good. I got it under control for now. Definitely don't need to read the Bible. 10,000 days into the journey a guy gets pretty tight with God. Knows his stuff. Remembers the Word fairly clearly. Gets pretty skilled at pointing out how others break the commandments and fail to trust the promises.
So I guess it'll be more of the same today:
- Denounce political candidate without same convictions as me.
- Complain about salary.
- Build tower of righteous anger because the definition of marriage should be so obvious.
- Get warm fuzzies while writing tithe check.
- Tell sad friend I'm praying for him (but not really). Then, call other friend to disparage sad friend for the misery he's caused himself.
- Rail against injustice. Stay firmly planted on seat.
- Marvel at idiots who give in to sinful addictions. While doing, let out the buckle on that size 42 belt and relax a bit.
- Bark at wife.
- Write uplifting devotional.
Wow, full day. But feels a lot like yesterday. Kinda rote. Well, that's just the cross I carry. Because after all, I happen to know a few things about the Word of God.
I know that there are "six things which the Lord hates, yes, seven which are an abomination to Him." And I'm pretty sure those are: gay people, terrorists, atheists, liberals, SUV drivers, and the French.
Likewise, I'm sure I read that it's best to be unwilling to listen, first to speak, and quick to get angry (or righteously indignant. Take your pick. Both are good).
Read the rest here: