Monday, June 09, 2008

Posting for the future

This is Troy. I'm in Port right now awaiting the team's arrival, which is late as always...the combination of the Miami Airport, American Airlines, and Haitian travelers usually amounts to many many delays. TIH.

I'm on the McHoul's internet getting caught up on emails and monthly mission business while I can do so, and Tara sweetly requested that I post to the blog. But not just post - FUTURE POST. Scary. So NOW, instead of trying to think of what to write to you today, I have to figure out what to write for MONDAY when this posts.

Peter will be meeting me at the airport later...right now he is visiting Beanne (H & P's birthmother), and dropping off some clothes and a little money that we sent to her.

Beanne has been wanting to start a business again selling clothes. She used to do this but was robbed a couple years ago and hasn't had the startup money to do it again. She had another job as a housekeeper until recently, but she left that to stay at home and take care of one of her other daughters who is now pregnant. (With her third child. I think H & P currently have four nieces and nephews from the two older siblings still living with Beanne.) We've helped them whenever possible to make sure they have a roof over their heads. Sometimes it is hard to know how much help to give though, and this sort of relationship in an adoption is definitely uncharted territory for most.

When it comes right down to it, I can't say no to her. I will probably never be able to explain it - but I'm going to try a little bit...

Living here surrounded by so much need and pain, it is a constant frustration trying to know how and where and who to help. The fact that so many are scamming the system leaves many jaded and cynical about this whole country. I understand that and have experienced it at times. Running a mission, and trying to be a good steward with its resources and for those of our family puts the challenge of discerning who to help before us at all times. We've been burned, and we've learned from it. We've been blessed and able to benefit others who really are hurting as well.

With Beanne I always feel like it's the latter. I feel deeply connected to her and her family - of course because she has given two children to us - but also because it has been a blessing for me to get to know her. She helps me keep things in perspective. I might never experience a life as hard as hers. I want to make hers better. She is always joyful and pleasant. From our western mindset there is no reason she should ever be. She has made mistakes in her life, and so have I. I haven't had to live out the wages of my sin the way she has. We're both forgiven, and she is filled with joy because of it. A joy I don't always have or understand. She is truly happy that her two girls are in our family and thankful that we are caring for them. She loves to see them and know that they are doing well, but seems to have no problem watching us walk away with them after a visit. I just can't imagine how hard that must be. She doesn't always know how she or her family will survive, but she has faith that they will. Our family has never suffered or had real fear about the future, but our faith wavers.

I love her for sharing her family with us, and it makes me want to share anything I can with her.

Here is what prompted me to write this - Beanne called me from Peter's phone before he left her. She was excited and brimming with joy to get to say thank you. What we sent her was nothing. She said it will change her life. She said she can't repay anything but will not sleep until she is done praying for our family. What more could we want? That is so humbling to me. And another reason why I love her. She has things in perspective. I hope I can get there too.

Please join me in praying for her and her daughters Joanne and Bedline who live with her, and the four (soon to be five) grandchildren (Bedlines two + children live with Beanne still, Joanne gave her two children up for adoption). Pray for them to rely only on their Heavenly Father to care for them and to stop turning to men who let them down. Pray for us to have wisdom to know how and when to help. Please pray too for the countless other women in this country who are alone and discarded by a society that uses them and leaves them behind.