Saturday, January 28, 2012

Linking You

I've read (and can relate to) some insightful and super funny things that have been written recently.  

Links below ... 
Sarah - On the topic of body image and our daughters:
Here are the lies, my dears:
You are only as good as you look.
You are only lovable if you have a rock hard body.
You can conquer your feelings of inadequacy by being skinny.
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
Everyone judges you by how you look and talks about you behind your back.
Beautiful is defined by your culture (and so it is beautiful to be frightfully skinny with bolted-on boobs and an identi-kit face).
You are not worthy of love if you are not beautiful.
Full post by Sarah can be found here.
[I hate that as a very very young single mother to two daughters I failed them and myself with a poor self-image in those years.]


Jen - On the topic of fear/parenting:
She said something like this, “I don’t believe in making choices based on fear. Ever. If God isn’t the author of fear, then when I listen to my fears I know I’m not listening to the voice of God.”
It was simple. Grace-filled. Not harsh or corrective or instructive. Just right.
I don’t believe in making choices based on fear. Ever.
She can’t know how many times I’ve played that sentence in my head this past year. How I’ve grasped at that idea as it slips in and out of my hands, wanting to make it my personal philosophy as well but struggling to change a lifetime habit of doing the opposite.
I don’t believe in making choices based on fear. Ever.
My confession is this: I do listen to fear. I think I always have. I’m pretty sure sometimes I give it an equal voice with the Holy Spirit who should have the loudest voice in my spirit – leading me in the way I should go. Now I don’t call it fear. I’m way too smart for that. I call it “discernment” or “wisdom” or I say I have a “check.” I can ‘church it up’ in the most expert ways. But I know - in my heart - that it's fear.
Full post by Jen can be found here. 

Keight (who is hilarious and self-depreciating) - On running a Half-Marathon:
i headed way, way way, back in the throng of people to my corral. i spotted my pace team leader hold his sign. i had looked him up online a few days prior by putting in my desired finish time (under 3 hours) and was pleased to find a group for we the turtles.
his bio listed him at 63 (whatEVER!!!) and when asked why someone should run in his pace group, his answer was, "to experience the fun of racewalking!"
what in the HAY-UHL!?!?!? my pace leader is a geriatric walker!!! and i am going the same speed at my fastest run. i dropped a few pounds in ego weight at that point which i figured would make me more aerodynamic.
Full post by Keight can be found here.
[Keight makes me snort laugh with much of what she writes.]
Kristen - On being naturally nocturnal while trying to be a mom:
I’ve spent the last year doing this, with varying levels of shame and frustration at my lack of self-control about going to bed.  Gee, what was I just telling my students the other night about the definition of addiction?  ENGAGING IN REPETITIVE BEHAVIOR DESPITE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES.  That would be me . . . every night. Hi, my name is Kristen and I’m addicted to staying up late.

Full post by Kristen can be found here.
[I have this problem. Poor planning for bedtime is killer when the phone rings at 4am.]

Megan - On her C-section birth:

Thank you, pink scar, for saving me from myself, from smug and flippant responses that fake smile at the hard-fought choice of others. Thank you for reminding me every single day that every single one has a story, and so often those stories are tear-stained, regret-filled, fallen-short. If you merely scratch the surface, it's never as simple as it seems. Thank you for bearing witness to time and healing and happy endings.Most of all, thank you for reminding me that advocacy without humility is not advocacy; it is only emotional blackmail and it strangles the life out of a cause.

Full post by Megan can be found here.
[This post is so interesting to me for many reasons. Midwives by nature are all about natural birth. Being new to the field I am developing opinions based on what I am learning and I'm also affected by my own experiences. I am all for less medical intervention and while I am far from an earthy "all natural" type person I do believe in advocating for women to be given choices over the birth of their child and not be forced to have epidurals or other intervention. I think it is great for every woman to choose what she is comfortable with, recognizing that we're all coming at it from a different angle and with different fears and history. I think as a general rule that American culture pushes for quick births and controlled planning of a birth - therefore the c-section rate is too high. I don't like when  people paint c-sections as failure. Sometimes, as Megan points out, they are a life-saving intervention. Having given birth four times (two of the four were c-sections) in four VERY different circumstances - I do get agitated with people that see the whole thing as a totally black and white issue. My experience says there is much gray area. The best quote in the entire post: "Most of all, thank you for reminding me that advocacy without humility is not advocacy; it is only emotional blackmail and it strangles the life out of a cause." So very true, no matter what we're advocating for ... when we do it without humility it is pretty icky.]


Bunmi Laditan - "How to Breastfeed Appropriately: A Stern Guide:
In conclusion, breastfeeding is for lazy, exhibitionist, thrill-seeking mothers who have nothing better to do than to make the rest of us shrivel in disgust. Your behavior is ruining our country so if you can’t sufficiently hide it to the point that we have no idea it’s even happening, don’t do it. A grandmother somewhere said that she nursed all eight of her babies without anyone knowing and if someone did something, it means you should to. Because if there’s one thing we all know, people did things better and were far more moral in the past.
Offending people is a crime and very wrong.
This land is your land. This land is my land. From California to the New York island. From the redwood forest, to the gulf stream waters, this land was made for you and me. And as partial owner, you’re freaking me out.
Full sarcastic post wherein Bunmi makes her point can be found here.
[I love that in Haiti boobs are not a big deal. I love that women nurse their kids whenever and wherever they want without ever feeling the slightest bit self-conscious. (These particular) Americans are ridiculous to make breastfeeding an issue while not taking issue with the pornographic advertising on TV and signs hanging in the mall and along the freeway. How can you not be troubled by the way the media and advertising objectifies women yet have a problem (to the point of being offended) with a Mom nursing her baby in public? That is beyond jacked up.]