Sunday, June 10, 2012

sunrise, sunset

Last year after prom I wrote the (overdone) sappy, teary, mother-that-hates-seeing-her-kids-grow-up post.

I'm not writing it again - but I am definitely always feeling it.

Last week Paige was feeling a little bit sad about the goodbye part of her upcoming summer adventure when she pointed out that most of what happens from here on out will be "lasts". She meant, last time leaving for a summer trip, last first day of school in Haiti, last time being here for all her siblings' birthdays, last of each of the holidays here ... It was really quite a depressing revelation on her part. I was totally ungrateful to her for the reminder.

Paige's boyfriend graduated from high school yesterday and is a year ahead of her on the "lasts" track. I sat at the QCS graduation ceremony looking around at a few of the moms in the room and observing their tears of joy and sadness mixed into a vortex of emotional confusion and I was with them in that. It feels good and bad and happy and sad and wonderful and terrible all at once.

The idea is to raise the kids, right? Prepare them to stand on their own two feet, send them off into the big, bad world mostly self-sufficient  ... It's the goal, the hope, the desire, the point, is it not?
Trouble is, it's a confusing paradox when what you're doing each day to prepare to launch them makes you feel as much excited anticipation as nausea; equally proud and depressed.

Time marches on no matter how frequently I stop to lament it...
Here's to the coming year of 'lasts'... May we soak up the beautiful gift of each moment with these precious and quickly growing kids and may we remember it is only by God's good grace that we're so honored to hold them in our hands and hearts for this time.

QCS 2012 Graduation

Prom 2012