Yesterday, a precious baby girl for Jesula (jesus is here) Difficile (difficult).
The last ten minutes of this birth and the first few minutes outside of the womb proved to be difficult indeed.
For a number of adrenaline-filled moments sweat was pouring off of nervous midwives and urgent prayers were uttered on behalf of this woman and child as fetal heart tones took a dive.
Truthfully, I don't think we necessarily expected easy, even though yes, Jesus is here.
One thing that I've learned working here, one thing I'd rather enjoy unlearning, and unknowing ... The battle rages on forcefully in the spiritual realm.
It is alarming enough to simply read the words of Jesus in John chapter 10 - "the thief approaches with malicious intent, looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy ..." But it is petrifying to bear witness to it from the front row on occasion.
Back at home after this intense birth, I'm processing conflicting feelings of fear and victory, uncertainty and assurance, joy and sorrow. I am simultaneously hopeful and sad as I think about Jesula and her new baby girl. I feel both weight and levity while carrying additional concerns for my own baby girls.
I think about these ongoing battles and I look up the second half of this verse in many translations:
- I came to give life with joy and abundance.
- I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
- I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance to the full, till it overflows. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.
- Mwen menm, mwen vin pou moun ka gen lavi, epi pou yo genyen l' an kantite.
It appears the only thing to do is remain patiently trapped in the tension of what is and what will be.
Verse 9 ... "I am the gate; whoever enters through Me will be liberated, will go in and go out, and will find pastures."
Verse 11 ... "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep in His care."