Tuesday, October 30, 2012



"I know they mean well. But the message good but not natural doesn’t ring true to those who drink from the chalice daily, imbibing the family grace with each swill. We don’t feel unnatural in our God-ordained family. Most of us are naked and unashamed in our homes, crawling under the covers with our mothers and wrestling barefoot with our siblings and laughing with our super-hero fathers. We’re at home where we belong, naturally."

"Family living doesn’t come easy – the tumble of personalities, insecurities and contending wills. We each struggle with identity issues, questioning our worth, wondering if we can contribute something of value to the world. What parent, adoptive or not, hasn’t had to battle personal anxieties while fortifying the healthy identity of their child? Isn’t this par for the course in family formation? Iron on iron, friction forging character and undaunted acceptance culling a child capable of self-love – this is indigenous to every family, right?"

Please click here to read the full post by Kelley Nikondeha.


Laura said...

I read the entire post. Her words are beautiful. And yet, I'm disturbed and I'm going to have to think on this for a while. How I have longed for our story to feel and be more natural. At every turn, though, it has not felt intuitive to me to parent my adopted kids. The guilt I have felt about how hard it has been for me has felt like drowning. We're doing better, yes. And, at this point, it does feel like our 'normal.' But man, I grieve and long for it to feel more natural. I love that, for her, it is so natural, even when it's hard.

T & T Livesay said...

Hi Laura -
Thanks for being vulnerable and putting it out there. You're brave and strong and I admire that.

Guilt is such a shitty, stupid, liar. I pray freedom from it for all of us mom-people that are often-times buried under its weight.

d.l.mayfield said...

i love kelley so much. i am in an online writing group with her and some other stunners. if you would like to start working on your book you can join in our super special group!!!!!

T & T Livesay said...

Oh Danielle - you're too kind. I admire your writing and Kelley and Sarah B. and you all are inspirational ... I have no book in me - but thank you for being generous with your love and words of affirmation.