Sunday, July 15, 2007

P. Diddy

Today we woke up way early so Troy could get to Port to rehearse with the worship team at 8am. Isaac and Hope were the 'chosen ones' for 'church team' today.

Basically, we're too large of a group to fit nicely in the truck these days. The oldest girls prefer to stay and go to church here at the mission. Usually if church in Port is on the agenda, just two to four kids come along. We vote on the team each Saturday night, only two votes count. Troy's... Tara's.
Noah is not convinced yet that the world does not exist solely for his pleasure and purposes. I know he thinks this because when I tell him "It is not all about you Noah" - he begins to wail. Taking him to church can be what nicer moms might call "challenging." I am more honest than that, and I think it is a horrific abomination to try and take a boy who wants to do his own thing to a place that is already quite warm and crowded. Driving two hours to then spend two hours keeping him in line, meanwhile missing all the music and the message --- well, I think it is not worth the effort. I will give him another year, maybe by age four he'll pull his head out and say to himself, "Hey self - church is about getting together with other believers and worshiping God -- it is not about me after all." Or maybe he'll continue to be self focused forever. For now, he gets voted off the Sunday church team a lot.

Phoebe requires holding, and again ... back to the warm and crowded point ---- no thanks. That leaves Hope and Isaac in prime position to get to go to Port for church and whatever treats come along with going to church.

We hung out at EpiD'or in the A/C for the 90 minutes extra we had prior to the service while Troy went on to church early. We ate Croissants and drank juice and painted Hope's nails. We managed to fill the 90 minutes discussing who was at EpiD'or and why. We watched the UN cops closely and tried to figure out who was speaking what languages. Isaac made an observation that I was the only white lady in the place. We then talked about Minnesota and how in MN there are not that many brown people. Isaac says he does not mind. He said, "It's fine mom. I just LOVE Minnesota."

Before we left we used the restroom, where they don't believe in using seats on their toilets. I know this, because in 18 months they have never seen a need to get one on either of the stalls in the women's restroom. If you don't have time to fix something like that in 18 months, I'm guessing you don't find it necessary. Have you ever tried to hold a 35 pound child over a toilet, paying careful attention to aim and trajectory of the fluids -- without letting them touch said toilet - for an extended period of time while you are also sort of awkward (read: chubby) yourself? If so, you know it is no small feat.

Finished with that we drove over to church. Immediately I knew we had made a tactical error in not arriving earlier. I could see that if I wanted room to sit in a funky way to stretch out my constantly aching ribs and be able to find ways to move my cankles around a bit, I would need to employ Zach's help.

Isaac went forward and said to Zach, "You got enough room for my mom here?" Zach went to work pushing people away and clearing ample space for me. That worked fine for three or four minutes until another 30 people showed up to church and started filling in the benches Haiti-style.
While you might think not having to touch the person next to you is good and even proper etiquette --- you're just wrong. You need to be touching three or four strangers, and if you're not --- well then you're row is entirely too empty. Get to know the sweating people around you. I spent the rest of the service concentrating on listening and fighting off the urge to give the little girl next to me some elbow-music in order to get her to stop touching me.

After church we had the privilege of meeting and dropping the Gray family off to Three Angels Orphanage. I had never been there so we got the quick tour and got to meet a lot of the team they have in right now. It was fun to put faces with names and get the lay of the land a little bit better. The Gray's are coming out to see Lifeline on Tuesday.

We left Three Angels to go to Caribbean Market for an all-important highly over-priced, but oh so worth it, ice-cream run. In the dairy section Isaac spotted brown eggs. He said, "MOM- WHAT are these?" I said brown eggs, they are the same inside, the shell is just brown. He said "Kind of like us Mom - the same inside, but brown and white outsides." :)
We bought cheese and crackers and ate lunch in the truck on the way home. The ice cream is re-freezing and will be consumed in copious quantities soon, very soon.

You've all heard of Puff Daddy, yes?

Well ... let me introduce you to Puff Mommy.

Hope observed that my ankles are gone - both inside and outside bones, nearly impossible to find, covered in layers of cankle fluid. Just call me Puffy.
Here is the King on his throne. The other day Troy brought that in to replace a bad one (HEY - there is a novel idea!) Jack said, "Hey dad, can I pretend to poop on that toilet?" Troy said, "Knock yourself out weirdo."
Next Sunday we'll take this with us if we're going to end up at EpiD'or. Traveling with a toilet seat is really not all that bad of an idea, just make sure your bring toilet paper and soap too.