I don't have any new tricks up my sleeve, but here's the latest news:
Friday we dealt with some issues in the canteen regarding cookstove repairs, propane tanks, and food inventory for the feeding program. Once all that was settled, the big truck got loaded up with Love Bundles. Robenson, Hope, Isaac and I headed off for a full afternoon.
We delivered 100 Love Bundles to a school on our road, they are having school registrations and a weekend festival of sorts, and today's delivery was a big event. Too big, actually. There were many children and adults not from the school who showed up to receive gifts, and it was difficult to maintain control.
The next stop was a church in Barbancourt, the Pastor there attends Lifeline's Pastor Trainings. We brought another 100 Love Bundles to the children there. His church sits back off of a dirt track about 50 yards, hidden among plantains, bananas, and coconut trees. The scene was much more orderly, at first. The children sat and listened intently for their names to be called, then would march up to eagerly grab their gift. Pastor Lussant did a very nice job of organizing the event. Slowly, though, word spread through the area of the event, and we ended up with a mob of adults trying to force their way in to the church to get a handout before they were all gone.
We then went to three gas stations on the way home to buy diesel for the generator. They were out when we tried the other day, and the first two today didn't have diesel still. This is definitely NOT the land of plenty.
I struggle emotionally every time we give out Love Bundles. I've had a hard time nailing it down before, but today it became more clear. Hope and Isaac had a lot of questions about why we give the gifts, who they are for, and why there is so much fighting over them. It was hard to answer everything, and I ended up in tears trying to explain it to them. I truly do wish we could help every single person, deserving or not. That is of course the easy and impossible answer.
What made me cry today was thankfulness that at least the two Haitians in my family, watching wide-eyed at the chaos, didn't have to feel that desperation or hunger in their lives. Of course it's too early for them to fully appreciate that, but I understand it now more than ever. I can understand the families that take in child after child after child through adoption or running a children's home until they are bursting at the seams. I don't know how they do it, but I'm thankful that they do.
I always need to remember the starfish story, and to focus on doing what God calls us to do, and know that we're helping His Kingdom in His plan in His way.
We can't do it all. Sometimes it feels like we're not doing anything.
But HE IS.