Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Un-Missionary

I grew up hearing missionaries share their stories in church and at Bible camp ... both their testimonies and their experiences on the field. They were always very prim and proper, smart and put-together ... oh, and holy seeming.

Today, my mom invited me to her Bible study to share with a group of ladies that have been praying for us. They asked me to "speak."

It was weird. Telling anyone anything is so odd to me. I am so far from the norm when it comes to missionaries that it feels like I am an imposter as I sit and share my thoughts about living and serving in Haiti. It is kind of goofy.

The other day my Uncle Rick introduced me as the "un-missionary" and I believe that is my favorite title to date. I would like it to stick.

Here is the thing. I am a jerk, who did years of jerky things ...then tried hard to get my act together and sort of succeeded ---- but once a jerk, always a jerk?!? There is plenty of jerkiness remaining. Just ask Troy.

Then, while still a jerk, I got sensitive to the voice of the Lord and listened. Listening meant moving to Haiti ... and that automatically earned me the "missionary" title.

I am not very proper, not very straight-laced and not nearly as holy as most. I struggle to keep my language on the up and up ... I struggle with forgiving and loving a few people in my life, I don't know my Bible nearly as well as a missionary should and I mess up as a mom and wife fairly frequently.

If that qualifies me to show up at a Bible-study and talk with you ... well then, maybe times are tough and you are desperate for pulpit supply. But, invite me and I will show up anyway.

Thank the Lord in Heaven that HE loves us in our jerkiness and uses us in spite of ourselves and in spite of our sin. He is the real deal.

Love and Lips from MN-
The Un-missionary