Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Cooking Help needed

I have spent a considerable amount of time thinking over and debating the pros and cons of some of my new job duties here with Lifeline.

Loving and caring for sick, hungry and needy people is rewarding. That is the easy part of this "job." (Job ... is that what you call it? Opportunity seems more appropriate.)

Whatever it is, a job, an opportunitity ... either way, it is mainly a really cool thing to be able to do. Your job is just to be nice to people who need you to be nice to them. How can you screw that up? I guess you still could screw it up, but at least it is something that comes naturally for me.

Then, there is the part of our job that scares me. This is the part that does not come naturally.

Lifeline promotes mission teams from all over the U.S. to come on short term trips. The reasons to encourage folks to come down here are many. It might change their life. They might decide to sponsor a child in the feeding program, they might decide to keep coming back and pitching in on special projects, they might come to care deeply about this country and her people. They could go home and spread the word about
Haiti and the needs here. Short term mission teams are a big part of getting work done and growing the base of supporters for the ministry. I get that, I believe it is important. I am anxious to meet new friends when visitors/teams come.

The odd thing is, the Lord did not give me the gift of cooking. He did not give me the gift of liking it either. Not even a little bit. Does He sit in Heaven laughing that I am ultimately responsible (once a month) to feed teams of 3 to 15+ people in addition to my family? Is it some sort of joke?

It seems cruel and unusual punishment to those sweet visitors who just came to help out.
"Oh, you thought you would get to eat something other than Cereal and Mac and Cheese during the 7 days you were here?" ----- "Sorry, someone must have misinformed you!"

The oven/stove are gas. That's cool, I have that at home...but the oven does not have a temperature setter thingee. (official terminology) You can set it anywhere along the spectrum of low to high but you cannot set it to 425 degrees. You just guess. The stove top has one side that blasts so much gas out at you it sounds like some sort of Tsunami coming through.

I can peel a mean banana, cut up an apple with the best of them. I bake an excellent frozen pizza, but that's where it ends. I am the chick who worked at BlackWoods restaurant simply so I could escape my home and have a decent meal once in a while. ;)
So, what does a horrible & unmotivated cook, who knows how to make three things, do when presented with this new "job" of cooking a different thing every night for seven nights?

Cry. Lay on the floor, kick and scream and cry. What else can I do? ;)

I need ideas. I need ideas with no more than four steps. Like Mac and Cheese - boil noodles, drain, add milk, butter & fake cheese packet. (That is technically five steps.) Things along those lines. I need things that are easy to do for large groups of people. I cannot do anything requiring fancy spices like cumin or basil or oregeno. I can realistically only handle two burners at one time, and even that is a stretch. HEEEEELP.

**Disclaimer: Most people who read our blog know us and know we are sarcastic, teasing, exaggerating people ----- so, if you don't know us this blog could be entirely offensive to you. Please know that we like to poke fun at ourselves, (and each other) it is our way of staying sane. Even if I am the world's worst cook I know that God put me here to teach me things ... who knows, maybe one of those is how to cook. I guess we will wait and see.

Bring on the guinea pigs